“ man have you heard of the island of giants? “ said jack
“I’ve heard of it but I think it’s just a rumour plus we’re protected from the british kingdom’’. ‘’So even if we went there and where to get stranded the british army would save us”.
Jack and James were one of the top scientists inside the whole world. So they were to take a helicopter to the island of giant to study them and take a piece of them to test if it has any DNA to create a giant on their side. But they had to wait for 6 months until they got there because the island was on the other side of the world.
Jack James was starting to look like a ghost because they haven't seen the sun in ages because the helicopter had no windows except for the front. They were flying across the sky when they saw a giant head in the sky. Then that's when they thought hard when they said it was a giant. They have never seen a giant that was that big. Both scientists were amazed at how bit the giants were expecting something much smaller like the size of a dino. There are more than 70 giants.
The giants spotted the helicopter and thought it was a toy so they all ran towards the helicopter. James and Jack were terrified so they both jumped off and swam to sea. The helicopter came crashing and made a big explosion. They worried because they could not contact the british empire. But what they were more terrified of was the big things all around them so started to wonder if there were animals bigger than the size of the giants. But when they were tryna look for the helicopter they saw a fish that was just on the edge of the island so they drew help on the sand just in case a helicopter flies by. They had to plan so James said “what if the giants think it’s a toy again so they would hold up a flag telling whoever comes to land on a huge piece of wood on the water with spikes on the bottom so the giant fish can’t get them.
They broke off some of the pieces of the tree’s and scooped some of the sand to study it when someone comes to save them. They started to explore the island. They both went to the middle of the island using a campus. It was like everything little on the other side of the world is opposite on this side of the world. But when they got to the middle they saw a big ancient dinosaur judging by it’s spike and a huge gorilla fighting to be king. To be continued….
“I’ve heard of it but I think it’s just a rumour plus we’re protected from the british kingdom’’. ‘’So even if we went there and where to get stranded the british army would save us”.
Jack and James were one of the top scientists inside the whole world. So they were to take a helicopter to the island of giant to study them and take a piece of them to test if it has any DNA to create a giant on their side. But they had to wait for 6 months until they got there because the island was on the other side of the world.
Jack James was starting to look like a ghost because they haven't seen the sun in ages because the helicopter had no windows except for the front. They were flying across the sky when they saw a giant head in the sky. Then that's when they thought hard when they said it was a giant. They have never seen a giant that was that big. Both scientists were amazed at how bit the giants were expecting something much smaller like the size of a dino. There are more than 70 giants.
The giants spotted the helicopter and thought it was a toy so they all ran towards the helicopter. James and Jack were terrified so they both jumped off and swam to sea. The helicopter came crashing and made a big explosion. They worried because they could not contact the british empire. But what they were more terrified of was the big things all around them so started to wonder if there were animals bigger than the size of the giants. But when they were tryna look for the helicopter they saw a fish that was just on the edge of the island so they drew help on the sand just in case a helicopter flies by. They had to plan so James said “what if the giants think it’s a toy again so they would hold up a flag telling whoever comes to land on a huge piece of wood on the water with spikes on the bottom so the giant fish can’t get them.
They broke off some of the pieces of the tree’s and scooped some of the sand to study it when someone comes to save them. They started to explore the island. They both went to the middle of the island using a campus. It was like everything little on the other side of the world is opposite on this side of the world. But when they got to the middle they saw a big ancient dinosaur judging by it’s spike and a huge gorilla fighting to be king. To be continued….
this story has a good dialogue. maybe next time you can use more detail.
ReplyDeletenice intro and conclusion, maybe next time you can use more detail
ReplyDeleteThis story has Great Paragraphs
ReplyDeletenice intro next time you can uses detail
ReplyDeletegreat paragraph and nice details
ReplyDeleteLovely Introduction Wesley Keep it up Cant wait to read another story!
ReplyDeleteGreat story Wesley. I love how you signposted some ideas, such as how in the beginning you said that they weren't worried about it because the British would protect them.. then during the story, when the helicopter was destroyed, they couldn't contact the British anymore. Doing this helps your story to make sense. Another one was where you said they started to look like ghosts, as they hadn't been outside the helicopter/in the sun for 6 months. Makes sense! Very logical ideas. Awesome.
ReplyDeleteIn the future, I would like to see you use short sentences for effect. Your sentences are quite long, and although it makes sense, having some short sentences every so often will help break up the long sentences and keep it interesting.
For example..
The helicopter came crashing and made a big explosion. "BOOM!"
Great Introduction and details Wesley Cant wait to read another story!
ReplyDelete