Today we had to write about a short clip we watched. Our goal was to describe IN DETAIL what we saw. This was just a practice so then when we wrote our own stories, we know how to write in detail and don't forget to leave things out. It helps the reader get a picture in their head, like a movie, of what I am writing.
This is the clip we used.
(Only the first 1 minute - about the boy sleeping through his alarms)
This is what I wrote.
the jetlee breeze blow the thought the open window the suns shanie bright light went thought the window under the window there was a reelow resting there was a pack of books. on the reelow it showed 7:00 as it ticked to 7:00 the reelow pled a slow song but salley the slow song turd off from a sleepy boy.he went back to sleep the skin alam went he was rlakedin to turd it off the he turd it off then went back to his scipy pilow
Do you think I have described what happened in lots of detail?
Please leave me a comment to let me know if I did achieve my goal or not.
Hi Wesley, I like how you have tried to create a picture of what was in the room. So there was a stereo, and a pile of books in front of the window? I can see that clearly in my head.
ReplyDeleteYou have tried to use some other describing words like the sleepy boy and slow song which is good.
Next time, can you try to add more detail about what the boy was doing?
wesley i like your writing and your writ fast and you take two pages a day
ReplyDeletewesely I like how you mentioned he was reluctant to turd
ReplyDelete